I used to be revolted by tattoos and piercings. Quite literally, my stomach felt queasy when I looked at some people. About ten years ago, I found myself staffing a workshop with a man that I’ll call Richard. He was capable and insightful, generally a strong asset to have at the workshop. The only problem was that I didn’t want to be near Richard. As I am sure you have guessed, Richard was heavily tattooed and pierced.
After a couple of days, I screwed up my courage and pulled him aside. “Richard,” I began, “I have to admit that your looks turn my stomach and even scare me a bit. But I don’t believe that is your intention. So would you tell me about your tattoos?”
I don’t know how long we talked but it was magic. Richard was so thrilled that I saw him as a person, instead of an object of ridicule, that he filled me up with his passion. It turned out that Richard is a visual artist. He designed all of his own body art. I heard stories about each picture and piercing and the stories were beautiful. When all was said and done, I learned that the biggest difference between Richard and me is that he chooses to use his skin as his artistic medium while I use a camera.
Since that day, my feelings about body art have completely reversed. Now when I see a particularly intricate tattoo, I try to find the occasion to ask about it and learn its story. Inevitably, the wearer has as much pride in his work as any painter or sculptor.
We all judge other people all the time. It’s just human nature. Most of us are also familiar with the adage that you should not judge another person until you have stood in his shoes. If you are like me, though, you usually take the easy way out, forming and voicing your judgements without truly getting to know the other person’s motivations and points-of-view.
The city library in Malmo, Sweden is boldly passing out shoes for patrons to try wearing. In At one Swedish library, you can borrow books—and a lesbian, Advocate.com describes a program allowing patrons to “check out” a living person for a 45 minute chat.
The people available to be “borrowed” also include a journalist, a gypsy, a blind man, and an animal rights activist. They will be available Saturday and Sunday in conjunction with a Malmo city festival and are meant to give people “a new perspective on life,” the library said in a statement. “There are prejudices about everything,” Noren said. “This is about fighting those prejudices and promoting coexistence.”
Of course, this is just a formalization of something available to any of us. Are you a right-to-lifer who is angry with your pro-choice coworker? Try going out for a cup of coffee and listening to that person for a few minutes. Are you a dyed-in-the-wool liberal who thinks your right-wing neighbor should be committed to a long course of electro-shock therapy? Try hanging out over the fence and listening to that person for a few minutes. The goal is neither to abandon your core beliefs, nor to change the other person’s mind. The goal is simply to learn “where he’s coming from.”
Talk a little. Listen much. Learn more.
In case you are wondering, I don’t have any tattoos or piercings.
