Cheerful Curmudgeon

Romance baffles me. Hey, I’m a guy; what do you expect (not that gals do much better, from my scientific conclusions gleaned from watching Sex and the City). Fortunately, the universe is conspiring to point me in the right direction with both visual and audio clues. First, the visual from xkcd.com:

Second, and probably most useful, Christine Lavin was good enough to record the song “Don’t Ever Call Your Sweetheart by His Name.” You can hear a 25 second sample of the song at emusic.com’s site.

It’s such a relief to know how to relate to Cheryl Cindy Candie Candy when I get home tonight. I love the internet!

Ærchie found the Seduction Style quiz. Great fun for a holiday evening (or any evening, for that matter). I’ll ‘fess up first; I’m a Libertine.

So what is your style? Post a comment here and let me know.

I just learned that my friend, Bill Metzger, will be leaving us soon. The best way that I can think of to honor him is to share a few of his words with you and a bit of his singing. First, the words; these are from a letter that he dictated recently.

I’ve been discovering how unbelievably loved and blessed I am. There are so many that I love and love me surrounding me. I feel this love from and to you everyday now. I could have never imagined how good this could be. Words certainly cannot express it very well and that’s what I have. We are all so beautiful in the ways we come to support each other and I have enjoyed this love and support from you . It’s unfathomable and I want you to know I have had a most beautiful and extraordinary life with the privilege and love in being here with you on this journey.

I would never have imagined how rich and full my life could be. How wonderful, so wonderful to share it with all of you. I feel God with you everyday.

It is truly and honor and a blessing to be a human and a part of the planet and with all of you, parts of God that you are. And while you may miss me, I will always feel you and if you want to feel my presence, just mention my name and I will be honored and blessed to be there.

Bill is a musician, singer, songwriter. Here is a snippet from The Memphis Men (14 MB, be patient).

Farewell, Bill. I will remember you.

Update: Bill passed away today, December 13, at about 3:30pm.

Sometimes a man stands up during supper
and walks outdoors, and keeps on walking,
because of a church that stands somewhere in the East.

And his children say blessings on him as if he were dead.

And another man, who remains inside his own house,
dies there, inside the dishes and in the glasses,
so that his children have to go far out into the world
toward that same church, which he forgot.

Ranier Maria Rilke
translated by Robert Bly

That is from one of my favorite books, The Rag and Bone Shop of the Heart: A Poetry Anthology by Robert Bly, James Hillman, and Michael Meade.

SI.com reports in Gretzky steps aside to tend to ailing mother

After agonizing for months about whether the job [as coach of the Phoenix Coyotes] would allow him time to focus on his family, including his mother, two sons in youth baseball and his daughter Paulina’s budding career as an entertainer, Gretzky finally accepted the position in August, once the NHL lockout was settled. "We’re in a tough situation because of teenage children, and then we have a 2-year-old and a 5-year-old, so my family and my responsibilities is sort of a juggle," Gretzky said.

I have great respect for a man who believes that his family is more important than his job. Even moreso, I am pleased to see it reported in the media. For a change, we get to see good news in the headlines. 

The ManKind Project, South Africa, has produced a ten minute video that is well worth watching if you are a man or know a man who wants to lead a life of integrity. My favorite sound bite from the video describes the process as a “course in emotional literacy.”

More information about this is available at The ManKind Project web site.

Thanks to the NWTA blog for spotting this video for me!

Even the advertising industry seems to be noticing that we men are human beings and not caricatures, as evidenced in this Reuters article, Male-targeted ads found to be in no man’s land.

If you feel confused about what you should “be” as a man, you are not alone.

The Leo Burnett advertising agency, which created the iconic macho cowboy [the Marlboro Man], said a new study it conducted found that half the men in most parts of the world don’t know what is expected of them in society…. [Emphasis is mine. ArtZ]

Between this article and my previous posting about The ManKind Project, this seems like Positive Male Role Model Booster Day. Or maybe Fathers’ Day is just a week late this year.

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch ran a story about The ManKind Project. Men say training has made them better men was written, in large part, from the experiences the reporter had while visiting my I Group (no pride here! ). [Ed. The P-D's on-line version of the article has aged off their web site so I have included it at the end of this posting.]

I have to admit that I was one of the guys mentioned in the article as checking in with fear and nervousness. It was definitely weird holding an I Group meeting with a reporter and a photographer present. But it was well worthwhile since Munz did a beautiful job of conveying some of the benefits of this work. Here is my favorite quote from the article:

He’s been married for 25 years now and has been able to “connect to my wife and kids on a level I was completely unaware even existed.”

When Hargis’ wife, Beckie, was asked how her husband had changed after the training, she said the key word is “joy.”

Hargis’ daughter Sarah, 15, says she feels she has a closer relationship with her father than her friends do with their fathers. Her dad is more emotional, asks more questions, listens and gives good advice, she said.

Woman Within International runs a similar program for women.

Both The ManKind Project International and Woman Within International are not-for-profit organizations.

Links: The ManKind Project International & The ManKind Project – St. Louis

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