Cheerful Curmudgeon

Jonathan Trappe has discovered real flying, under a cluster of helium balloons. He took off from Oshkosh, Wisconsin last month, flew across Lake Michigan (overnight), and landed in Michigan, near Kalamazoo.

Sign me up! This looks like more fun than a barrel of monkeys.

[Updated 8/19/2010 to insert a missing title.]

I have been walking regularly for over a year and have lost almost 30 pounds. Now I want to start running and the calcified structure within my skull nudged me and suggested that a little research might be in order before I hit the pavement. I checked the library and discovered that the authority record for grey beards in my age bracket is Running for the aged.

"Running for the Aged" Library of Congress subject authority record

Aged?!?! Me? Hope springs eternal, though. At the Library of Congress, hope takes the form of the “see: Running for older people” line. I was sure that if I checked that record, it would unequivocally exclude me.

"Running for older people" Library of Congress subject authority record

Sadly, it unequivocally includes me. But on the bright side, I now have it on two of the best authorities in the world, the US Congress and the US Congress’ library, that I am officially aged. Wisdom must certainly arrive soon.

Truly amazing. The song lasts one minute and then, well, just watch.

Kids of all ages love airplane rides, especially when they get to be in the front seat of a small plane and get to take the controls and do some of the piloting. Have you ever heard the buzz of an airplane overhead, stopped what you were doing, and stared up at the plane? Perhaps pointed it out to your son or niece or neighbor kid and reminisced about that time when…?

Famous Young Eagle Flight Grin

One way to get a free airplane ride is to show up at a Young Eagles event at your local airport. Yesterday, over 60 kids got rides at St. Charles Smartt Airport, courtesy of EAA Chapter 32 and several volunteer pilots (your’s truly included). Price of admission: zero. Requirements: be between the ages of 8 and 17. Guaranteed result: huge grins all around.

Do you want to arrange a Young Eagles flight? Call your local Young Eagles coordinator. Since the program started in 1992, over 1.5 million kids have gotten airborne. These days, in addition to the flight, each kid gets his own logbook in which to record the flight (and future ones), a certificate for free internet ground school training, and access to www.YoungEagles.com which is full of tons of cool stuff.

You can also simply drive out to your local airport, wander around, and talk to people. Here in St. Charles, MO (where I live), we have three visitor-friendly airports: St. Charles Municipal Airport, St. Charles Smartt Airport, and Creve Coeur Airport. Wander by any on a nice day and you are guaranteed to find pilots who are more than willing to talk and answer questions. You can probably even cadge a ride, just by asking.

May this passover find you free from all bondage and from anything which keeps you from thoroughly enjoying life. L’chaim (to life)!

I have dropped 24 pounds since last May, which makes me smile. Now, in addition to simply being smaller, I have two more reasons to smile. First, my last blood test for cholesterol levels came back with greatly improved numbers across the board. This means that I will likely be around longer to sponge off my kids (are you listening, guys?). Second, because of the lower cholesterol levels in my bloodstream, my doctor agreed that I could drop one of the two meds that I have been taking. Dropping the Zetia will save me $75 per month, an unexpected and wonderful surprise. I had heard and read that losing weight would have collateral health benefits. Now I have first hand proof.

My friend Jimbo sent me the following exercise program. I’m well along with it and, so far, it has been pretty do-able, even for a greybeard like me.

This seems a little daunting to start with but if you apply yourself you may find that it’s not as difficult as you think.

EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 50

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.

With a 5-Lbs potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.

Each day you’ll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-Lbs potato sacks.

Then try 25-Lbs potato sacks and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 50-Lbs potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I’m at this level.)

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each sack.

Remember, nothing is more valuable than your health. Get the best quality potato sacks that you can!

As anticipated on December 22, today I made it down to 199 pounds for the first time since, well, since heaven-only knows when! To the groans of all, I celebrate with another six word story:

One hundred ninety nine pounds. Yipee!

Imagine it’s one of those lazy mornings when you don’t feel like doing much of anything. You woke up and shrugged into a comfy old shirt. You left your cuffs unbuttoned. The left half of your collar sticks up, since you never bothered to look in the mirror. As for the buttons down the front, you probably missed one or two. But the sun is shining, your morning cup o’ tea has been exquisitely tasty, and all is right in the world for you to slide through a long, lazy day, the perfect sequel to your lazy morning.

Mystical Judaism has the belief that our souls return to G-d when we sleep and G-d sends our souls back when we wake. We have a morning prayer which begins, “Thank you, King, for mercifully restoring my soul to me.” The belief shows up in Christianity, too, and pops up in the children’s bed-time prayer, “Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep….” I am sure that the belief is much older than either religion, since sleep looks so much like death and since dreams are so other-worldly.

What if your soul returns to your body one morning and doesn’t feel like doing much of anything? What if it shrugs your body on like a comfy old shirt? What if it doesn’t bother to button up all the buttons, to straighten out the collar, to check the mirror to be sure that everything looks right and proper? How are you doing today?

Today, I celebrate. Since I began exercising and eating less on Memorial Day, I have lost 20 pounds! First goal achieved.

Next goal, which should be pretty quick if the gods of metabolism cooperate: Weigh less than 200 pounds. I cannot remember the last time I weighed less than 200 pounds.

After that, I think I’ll head for 180 pounds. (There! I’ve put it in writing.)

To mark this momentous occasion, I return briefly to that briefest of all genres, the six word story.

Five months. 20 pounds. Woo hoo!!

and

Help me celebrate. Eat some chocolate.

and

Should I replace my website photo?

Four batches of six word stories, oy vay! I hope you are at least a tiny bit amused (and not too abused), even if only for the second or two that it takes you to read these.

Genealogy: Research begat research begat research…

Crash splatter! Who dunnit? Cat naps.

Dog barks. Squirrel laughs. Yet again.

Six word stories fascinate me so.