Cheerful Curmudgeon

Am I the only one baffled by the notion that a pregnant teenager is somehow a worthy part of a presidential political campaign? The last time I thought about teenage pregnancy (which is depressingly often, since I have two teenage sons), I considered a pregnancy to be an “Oh shit” moment which would have to be followed by some very heavy conversations with the parents about what comes next. Were it my child who is pregnant, and thankfully my children are not, I cannot imaging a) publicizing and politicizing the event, and b) focusing so heavily on the decision to marry and keep the child and not at all on the bad judgment which led up to the pregnancy.

While the “right to choose” vs. “right to life” debate is certainly a worthy one, I think a more interesting issue is that of helping teenagers avoid pregnancy in the first place. Equally interesting is how to break the cycle of premarital pregnancy which seems to run in families. I.e., a child conceived out of wedlock is more likely to conceive more children out of wedlock. How do we reach, and teach, those teens?

Sarah Palin may have been one of those teens. According to this article in AMERICAblog.com, Palin’s son Track was born just eight months after Palin married. Regardless of whether the boy was conceived before the wedding or born prematurely, this does give us all a good reason to think hard about teenage pregnancy.

Palin, by the way, does not impress me as a good person to have in the White House. I love this poem by my friend jsg:

The News

I am in Wasilla, Alaska
Tracking the orbit of Governor Sarah Palin
Whose pick for VP has energized Republicans everywhere
And independents like myself
Who are moved to the center
By this most courageous appointment
By such smart politicians.

I hope the photos I am attaching
Complement the text.

Here I am in front of the field
Where the Governor got smooched by her future husband
They will marry and eight months later
Her first child will be born
Which no doubt is the basis for the philosophy
behind her later lack of commitment
To sex education and support for unwed mothers in her state.

Her second child, by the way,
Will go to this high school
Here I am standing in front of it
Where she too will smooch her boyfriend
Get pregnant
And whose pregnancy will be announced to the world
By her mother
Whose willingness to sacrifice the privacy of her daughter
To her ambitions for the vice Presidency is only exceeded
By her willingness to rear her own special needs child
In a fishbowl with staff
Hillary Clinton’s identification with ambition is over forever
Since the Republican Sarah Palin
Has demonstrated to what lengths true ambition
Will take a person
And how clever Republicans must be to jettison all their values
To support her.

Here I am in front of the State House
Where not one person who served with Sarah Palin
Was called during the so-called vetting
They are clever the Republicans
And John McCain is some maverick reformer
To have made such a careful decision.

Here’s the road where Governor Palin’s husband
earned a DUI
and was taken to jail.

Here’s the law office of the lawyers just hired
To run interference for Governor Palin over the firing
Of her ex brother-in-law
Who left his employment
Under suspicious conditions
But of course John McCain’s people knew all that
And were courageous and reformers nevertheless.

Here’s an empty room
Where Sarah Palin has avoided
Speaking with the Press.

Here’s a picture of me in the
MIDDLE OF THE ROAD
Both the Republicans and Democrats are courting me
The future belongs to me
I am delighted to be here
And from where I stand -

The Republicans are doing a really bang-up job
Of earning my loyalty.

Your friend in the center,
jsg, usa

My mother, Marjorie Serby Robertson, passed away last week. I found this poem which beautifully sums up her life.

Old Song

Do not seek too much fame,
but do not seek obscurity.
Be proud.
But do not remind the world of your deeds.
Excel when you must,
but do not excel the world.
Many heroes are not yet born,
many have already died.
To be alive to hear this song is a victory.

Traditional, West Africa

May her soul be bound up in the bond of eternal life. May her memory be a blessing.

(Old Song is from The Rag and Bone Shop of the Heart: A Poetry Anthology.)

Yup, I’m a proud papa. Kevin Zemon graduated yesterday from Ft. Zumwalt North High School, O’Fallon, MO.

No two ways about it, I am hugely proud of my son, Kevin, who attained Eagle rank in Boy Scouts. Last night was his court of honor. There are more pictures in my on-line gallery but here is one of my favorites:

Not only is he man enough to speak extemporaneously and do it well, he inspires younger Scouts to follow his example, takes ribbing well, and can still hug his parents publicly. What a mensch!

Staying up all night with a coughing child sucks. No two ways about it. And trying to get a kid to swallow some awful tasting cough medicine can be almost as bad. Honey A Better Option For Childhood Cough Than Over The Counter Medications, reported over at Science Daily gives hope.

The study [by a Penn State College of Medicine research team] found that a small dose of buckwheat honey given before bedtime provided better relief of nighttime cough and sleep difficulty in children than no treatment or dextromethorphan (DM), a cough suppressant found in many over-the-counter cold medications.

It seems like a good idea to me. The nice thing is that if you try the honey and it doesn’t work, you can still give a dose of DM.

Better yet, you can have some honey, too, as long as you have the jar out of the cupboard and a spoon in your hand.

I don’t worry about kids these days becoming so involved with social networks (Facebook, MySpace, etc.) and instant messaging (AIM, text messages, etc.) that they become isolated from real human contact. Why not? XKCD says it perfectly:

Long distance relationships are hard. IM can turn a friend down the street into a long distance relationship.

Excuse me. I’d write more but I need to go hug Candy. But before, I go, here’s one for you: <hug>

Do you remember all those pearls of wisdom that your mom uttered when you where a child? Of course not; you weren’t listening. (I’ll admit it: neither was I.) Some of what mom said was good, solid advice, though. Here is your chance to reclaim those lost gems without having to relive your childhood. Just give Anita Renfroe a little less than three minutes of your time.

Here are the lyrics: Read the rest of this entry »

Tragedy struck on Monday when 33 people died at Virginia Tech. Flags fly at half mast as we grope through feelings of hurt, anger, helplessness, and grief. President Bush was so moved that he offered personal condolences,

It’s impossible to make sense of such violence and suffering. Those whose lives were taken did nothing to deserve their fate. They were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Now they’re gone — and they leave behind grieving families, and grieving classmates, and a grieving nation.

Why are these deaths so painful for us?

On the same day, about 116 people died in traffic related accidents. President Bush’s words fit here, too.

It’s impossible to make sense of such violence and suffering. Those whose lives were taken did nothing to deserve their fate. They were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Now they’re gone — and they leave behind grieving families, and grieving classmates….

…but not a grieving nation. Why not?

One of those 33 victims at Virginia Tech took his own life. On that same day, about 83 other men and women did the same thing. Again, President Bush’s words apply.

It’s impossible to make sense of such violence and suffering. Those whose lives were taken did nothing to deserve their fate. They were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Now they’re gone — and they leave behind grieving families, and grieving classmates….

…but not a grieving nation. Again, why not?

Yesterday evening, a 19 year old young man in my congregation took his own life. It is impossible for me to make sense of his suffering. He did nothing to deserve his fate. He is simply gone and he leaves behind a grieving family and grieving classmates…

…but not a grieving nation.

Why do we publicly mourn 33 deaths at Virginia Tech while ignoring the other senseless deaths in our lives? Why do we order investigations and ask tough questions about one situation and not all of the others?

Here’s a suggestion: take your feelings about a recent death and channel it for good. The next time you are angry with a loved one or a friend, remember that you do not know if you will see them tomorrow. Make peace. Love them now. And, God willing, you can love them tomorrow, too.

Joseph poses a good idea in his posting on Changes in Lobbying Practices

Lobbyists would be required to hire a Congressional stenographer to record the entire interaction, every single time they interact with someone in Congress. The transcript would then go on the Internet.

Better yet, the whole thing also would be videotaped, and the recording would then become public information.

For decades, I have advised people who write email messages, usenet postings, forum messages, etc., to avoid writing anything which they would not say face-to-face in a public place. Following this guideline would almost completely eliminate flame wars. We rarely see one person “go off on” another during a conversation at Denny’s. Why? Because when talking to another person “in person,” you see the humanity in him. You see the reactions in his eyes and sense the impact your words are having on his heart. This feedback keeps you from saying things which are outrageously hurtful or inflamatory.

Now combine my suggestion for written communication with Joseph’s idea for publicizing lobbyist’s conversations with congressfolk: What if you lived your whole life as though it were open to public review? Oh sure, I know that everyone has private moments, lots of them. I am not suggesting that you remove the curtains from your bedroom window. I am talking about the stuff that you do “out there,” in public but not really in public. Like the time you get really angry and are about to say *&^%, do you get that little feeling in the pit of your stomach that hopes that ___ won’t find out? Or what about the time you want to buy ___ but pray that ___ won’t discover your purchase? I am sure that you can imagine a few more situations.

When one of my sons grew to teenagerhood and became intensely interested in the telephone, we had a family talk. I reiterated our family tradition of respecting closed doors. (We never open a closed door without knocking and being invited to do so.) I also added the notion that, while some phone calls deserve privacy, if there are a series of conversations which seem to demand secrecy then a big red warning flag should be waving in your mind.

The deceptions and lies add up and eat at your soul, each one just a tiny bit. Like gossip, they also hurt the other people involved. How much better would your life be without all of these little pin-pricks of nagging guilt and worry?

Try this the next time you are about to do something and you feel a little knot forming in your stomach. Imagine explaining it to your daughter or your father or your closest friend. Are you explaining it with pride? Are you hoping that this person will emulate your actions?

Living transparently is living as through everyone could see everything that you are doing. How much better would your life be without the burdens of secrets?

I realized something as I walked the dog this morning: though I religiously read to my children throughout their “formative years,” one turned out to be a bookworm while the other did not. The bedtime story was a fixture in our household for ages. I read everything from board books to tongue-twisters to Latin-laden dinosaur books to young adult novels.

Of the zillions of books that I read to them, a few stick in my memory. All of the Dr. Seuss books have delightful plots, rhythm that the kids love to hear, and morals which are worth imparting. Green Eggs and Ham is one of my favorites. Oh Say Can You Say? was generally high on the request list and there is no way a dad cannot laught when his kids are laughing at him tripping over words that he could not say while awake, let alone at the end of a long day. The Giving Tree is a must-read for anyone with a tender heart or a tender heart in training.

I read Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass to the boys; that was tough sledding. The language is not kid-friendly.

I downloaded Peter Pan from Project Gutenberg and that was an eye-opener for all of us. This is a compelling story and definitely not your Disney version.

I kept several of the books that were my favorites, looking forward to the day when I can read them to another generation.

In hindsight, was reading to my children worthwhile? Absolutely! Did it reliably turn both of them into literary fiends? Nope. Instead, it brought joy and closeness to our family in a way that nothing else could have.