Romance baffles me. Hey, I’m a guy; what do you expect (not that gals do much better, from my scientific conclusions gleaned from watching Sex and the City). Fortunately, the universe is conspiring to point me in the right direction with both visual and audio clues. First, the visual from xkcd.com:

Second, and probably most useful, Christine Lavin was good enough to record the song “Don’t Ever Call Your Sweetheart by His Name.” You can hear a 25 second sample of the song at emusic.com’s site.

It’s such a relief to know how to relate to Cheryl Cindy Candie Candy when I get home tonight. I love the internet!